Sometimes
by Artemis1082
Summary: Rain contemplates hers and Domon's relationship through the years after meeting up with some people on Valentine's Day.


Disclaimer: *psht* Like I could own G Gundam or any of its characters. I'm just a poor student, so please don't sue me...  
  
A.N.: Hello. To those of you who are eagerly anticipating the next chapter of TFG, I apologize that I don't have it yet. I'm having a major brain freeze. Hopefully some time on an insightful retreat will help me find some clarity. However, while this isn't the next chapter, I would like you to R+R this short fic I've had sitting around for a while. I've never done a one-shot bit, so let me know what you think. Maybe some feedback will motivate me to write the next chappie a little quicker ::wink wink:: ^_~  
  
Just so you can understand the setting, it takes place after episode 34, when Allenby plants the chip in Domon's Gundam and Rain gets incredibly jealous after seeing them there working together without her. She then throws them into the water below and storms off.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Sometimes...  
  
By Artemis1082  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
I threw my jacket to the ground irritably. My hands curled into fists at my sides, the right one wrapping around the steel wrench I was gripping at the moment.  
  
"Honestly, Domon Kasshu. Sometimes I hate you so much!"  
  
I spoke to no one in particular, only the emptiness of the Burning Gundam's cockpit, where I was now furiously working away and thinking back on Domon and Allenby working together in here without me.  
  
Okay, so maybe I took it a little too far by throwing him and Allenby out into the water, but still! She was from another nation and it was *my* job to take care of the Gundam. How could he try to replace me like that? After everything I've done for him! I left behind my boyfriend, Seitt, just to have Domon push me away whenever I try to help. I stuck by his side all throughout the Gundam fights, worked day and night for him, even when I was sick to the point of collapsing on the cockpit floor. And this was how he was repaying me, by cozying up to that ditzy blue-haired fighter? That ungrateful, egotistical, boorish...  
  
I released a frustrated groan and sat down to try and cool off. 'Name calling, Rain?' I asked myself. I shook my head, rather disgusted with my childish manner. I was overreacting and behaving incredibly immaturely to this situation, just like when Domon and I were seven years old and had some juvenile spat. But that wasn't who I was anymore. No longer a child, I was an adult, and handled all situations with patience, a clear head, and objective outlook.  
  
All except for my heart, that is. I have a tendency to get a little emotional about that. But then again, isn't it justified? It's my heart, my love, the single most precious and fragile treasure a human being can give to another. How could someone not get emotional about something that needs constant protection and nurturing, something so easily broken?  
  
I inhaled deeply as I stood up. I could still smell him, the whole Gundam was filled with his scent: strong and overpowering, yet strangely soothing. I closed my eyes and relaxed as it overwhelmed my senses. It was like he was here beside me, wrapping around my skin and clothing as I hugged my arms around my waist. I loved it. It was probably the closest we would ever come to actually embracing.  
  
Realizing that I had gotten sidetracked, I saw that this was preoccupying my mind too much and getting in the way of my work. I decided that I needed to get out and get Domon off my mind, so I pulled on my teal jacket over my quintessential shrimp pink dress and headed back to the boat. I inevitably found myself wondering if Domon had gone back there or not.  
  
Curiosity got the best of me, and I poked my head in and looked around. I didn't find any sign of Domon there, but I did find some pink lemonade mix just inside and in no time flat, I had made a pitcher of it. I made sure to pour myself only a small glass so as to leave plenty for the others, especially for Domon. If he was training, he'd want something to drink when he got back.  
  
I sighed. Though my efforts did seem rather futile. He usually never took anything I offered him. Knowing him, he'd probably just pass it up for a glass of water and complain about how sugar would dehydrate him, and how I should know better because I'm a doctor. I do know better, but one glass of lemonade wouldn't kill him. I understand that he's focused on saving his father and destroying the Dark Gundam, and I support him one hundred percent. I wouldn't sacrifice everything I have if I didn't.  
  
But—He's just so serious sometimes. When he gets that way, I always end up hurting. He doesn't really do it on purpose. It's just that he has a tendency to forget about me in the craziness of the Gundam Fights. And I don't blame him for it. I should learn to brush his comments off, since I know he doesn't mean them. But I can't help wishing that I could mean more to him than I do, that maybe he would add me to his list of priorities, since I don't even seem to be on it.  
  
I try to think back on the good times we shared before he suddenly came back into my life, and he was so much different. More considerate, more caring. I find myself wishing that we could go back to those days when we were so carefree, when our lives were still untouched by tragedy and death.  
  
Returning back outside, I leaned over the bow of the boat, relaxing in the afternoon sun as it warmed my skin. Just as I was allowing my thoughts to wander away from all my concerns, I jumped in surprise as I heard a boisterous voice call out my name quite unexpectedly.  
  
"Rain! Rain Mikamura!"  
  
I turned around and saw Chibodee Crockett hop out of a limousine with his crew piled inside, laughing and talking over the loud music bursting from the vehicle. I let out a shriek as he picked me up at the waist and whirled me around in the air, then plopped me back down. His lips made a loud smack as he kissed my cheek.  
  
"Hey there, Rain! Good to see ya!"  
  
I could feel myself blushing and unconsciously lifted a hand to my cheek. I was completely taken aback by the wild and impetuous American's behavior. People often criticize him for not taking things seriously enough. Sure, Chibodee's a big clown, always joking around and chasing after women and fame. But underneath all that is the real person: the loyal, determined, kind-hearted man with a love for his country and dreams that I had slowly come to know through our encounters.  
  
I guess most people are like that sometime or another in their lives: wearing a mask that conceals the truth hidden deep inside out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of weakness, fear of love. People have secrets, things they don't want known by others. I know I'm guilty of it.  
  
I was once told that time reveals everything. In soap operas, the guy always, always, ALWAYS finds out that the girl cheated on him and is pregnant with his best friend's baby. I know, I've watched plenty of them while traveling this past year with Domon.  
  
But soap operas aren't exactly reality, and I guess that's why I disagree with the expression. Not everything is revealed. Some secrets are meant to be taken to the grave and live on as mysteries that will never be solved. Sometimes things are just better off that way.  
  
"Hello, Chibodee," I managed to get out. "What's all the excitement about?"  
  
"I'm glad I caught you alone today, so I could give you your present." As if a thought just dawned on him, Chibodee's smile reversed into a frown. "Say, what *are* you doing alone today? I thought the King of Hearts would for sure keep his Queen busy today of all days. Didn't he at least give you some roses?"  
  
My brows drew together in confusion. "Domon didn't give me anything. Why would he?"  
  
Chibodee's jaw dropped, aghast and in disbelief. "He didn't give you anything? Not even chocolates or balloons or jewelry? Doesn't Japanese know what today is? Don't you?!"  
  
I had no idea what he was talking about. I gave him a strange look and shook my head, completely oblivious to whatever important event was going on.  
  
"But, today's Valentine's Day! Don't the Japanese celebrate Valentine's Day?"  
  
"Valentine's Day?" I whispered softly.  
  
"Yeah, Valentine's Day. You know, that holiday where the guy buys something pretty for his girl. Or girls, if you're me." Chibodee smiled that cocky smile of his that makes millions of women around the world go weak at the knees.  
  
I flushed embarrassedly, partially because he smiled that *way* at me, partly because I had no idea it was Valentine 's Day, and partly because of what Chibodee had insinuated was going on between me and Domon, which was nothing. Definitely nothing.  
  
"He wouldn't buy something for me. Men give their girlfriends gifts on White Day in Japan. Valentine's Day is for when the girls give presents to show their affection toward the man they love. It's not the same as how Americans typically celebrate."  
  
"Well in that case, what did you give Domon?" Chibodee interrogated.  
  
I almost choked on the sip of lemonade I just took. "What?! Wh-why would I do that?"  
  
"You just said that chicks buy stuff for the men they love on Valentine's Day in Japan. So you got him something, didn't you?"  
  
I fixed my eyes on the splashing waves out at sea as the boat rocked gently, anywhere but having to face him. I couldn't look at him as I talked, speaking aloud the words that caused my heart to wrench inside me. I mentally tried to convince myself to get over it, whatever 'it' was.  
  
"I'm not his girl. We're just partners, remember? He doesn't have any feelings for me beyond our friendship. We work together to try and win the Gundam fights, and that's all." I paused as I leaned against the doorframe of the entrance to the boat, and stared down into my glass, watching the drink as though it was the most entertaining thing in the world. "Besides, I guess I forgot that today was Valentine's Day."  
  
"That doesn't answer my question. You told me what you think he feels, but what about your feelings?"  
  
"M-My feelings? Well. I. We're partners, and I wouldn't want to mess up our mission because of our relationship. But, he's a friend. Someone that I care for dearly. Sometimes more than I should." I said the last part too quietly for Chibodee to hear, and swallowed.  
  
I couldn't believe I stuttered. It brought back memories of my childhood when I used stutter in class, and in second grade, Yuki made the mistake of poking fun at me. Domon punched his lights out. He always protected me when I was little. But when he left...I was alone. It was hard for me to learn to go on without his constant presence when we were best friends. And now that he was back to protect me...Well, maybe we could be best friends again. Or even-  
  
I stopped myself there. I had to stop torturing myself with wishing and hoping. Things never happen like they do in fairytales. No one really is whisked off on a white horse by their prince charming like in the storybooks. Things just don't happen that way in the present day and age. As much as we pray, the Mounties don't always get their man. And neither do I.  
  
"Sure," Chibodee jested as he rolled his eyes in disbelief at my rather poor attempt to persuade him. "And little green men with pointy hats live on Mars. You sound like you're trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince me," he crossed his arms and eyed me suspiciously.  
  
When I refused to look at him, he sighed and gave up. "Anyway, here's your present." He pulled a large stuffed bear holding a big red heart from his jean jacket and handed it to me. I held it back at arms length for a moment, staring at it. Then I smiled and pulled it to my chest.  
  
"Thanks, Chibodee. That's really sweet of you."  
  
"Aw, don't mention it. I'm just sorry Japanese didn't get you anything. By the way, since he's not here to keep you company, how about you join me and my crew for a party?"  
  
I paused for a moment to think about it, then shook my head. "Um, I'm sorry. I can't. I've got a lot of work to do, mostly with the Gundam. Besides, I'm not even dressed for the occasion. Maybe some other time, though."  
  
Chibodee gave me a quizzical look, then smiled as he brushed it off. "All right. Some other time, though, huh? We'll go out for drinks. Well, take care." He ran back to the limousine where he and the girls waved goodbye as they drove off.  
  
I lowered her hand to my side when they disappeared from sight and looked down at the soft bear I held in my arms. Standing on the boat, I was unsure of what to do. I don't really know what made me say no. It wasn't that I didn't like Chibodee and his crew; they always knew how to have a great time. But, it was Valentine's Day. And as much as I liked Chibodee, he wasn't my Valentine.  
  
I climbed down the ladder, back inside the boat, and set the bear down next to the empty pitcher of pink lemonade. He looked awfully sad as I checked the mirror and made ready to leave. He stared after me with those incredible chocolate eyes, kind of like Domon's. I patted him on the head and left.  
  
With no particular destination in mind, I allowed my feet to simply guide me through the streets of Neo-Hong Kong. I remembered when we had first arrived at Neo-Hong Kong. Domon refused to stay in the hotel I had carefully selected. I had been pretty hurt at first, but after staying at the boat with Han and his grandchildren, I was glad that Domon had chosen to stay with them.  
  
"Rain? Is that you?"  
  
I turned to the feminine voice that called my name, and recognized her easily in spite of her disguise. "Miss Marie-Louise. It's nice to see you again." I looked around, realizing that I had unconsciously walked to the Neo-France mansion.  
  
The blonde smiled as she came to my side and adjusted her cap that she wore while in cognito. "Same to you. Isn't today a simply wonderful day? I love Valentine's Day!"  
  
I smiled pleasantly and nodded. "Yes, Valentine's Day really is special."  
  
Marie-Louise touched my arm, her youthful green eyes shimmering with excitement as she suddenly remembered something of incredible import. "Oh, you have to hear what Sir George gave me! He had a whole bouquet of roses, with a card and everything, delivered to my room! They're absolutely gorgeous. I've never seen such a fantastic shade of red in my whole life. I put them in the most beautiful vase I could find, they smell so wonderful. Look! I even have the card with me."  
  
She dug into her pocket and pulled out the small white card with a red engraved boarder that had come with the roses. She held it out to show me. "Here it is!"  
  
Miss Marie Louise,  
  
Please accept these roses as a gift from your loyal knight.  
  
George de Sand  
  
She sighed dreamily and hugged the card affectionately to her chest. "Sometimes he can be so romantic. And charming. I'm on my way to find him and thank him right now." She released a giggle as she hugged me goodbye. "Maybe I'll even give him a kiss. I've never kissed a boy before."  
  
I simply smiled as I watched her waved goodbye as she ran off, then slowly continued walking along. How easily she got worked up about roses and a card. He hadn't even professed his love to her, and already she was giddy, planning her first kiss with the man of her dreams. Puppy love was so innocent and beautiful, thinking of it made me nostalgic.  
  
Domon had never really showed his affection to me, at least not like George did with eloquent words or bouquets of roses. 'Maybe that's because there's nothing there,' my mind said. But somehow I couldn't believe that. He kept sending me mixed signals. He would be nice and fairly amicable one minute, then so cold and distant the next. Talk about bi-polar. I never knew how he felt about me, our relationship was so confusing and complex.  
  
I combed a hand through my auburn tresses as I futilely attempted to sort out the situation. Sometimes Domon just made me so frustrated!  
  
The bright neon lights glowing from the shops and restaurants lit the sidewalk as I passed. Couples were everywhere, smiling as they spent time with each other. The scent of cookies filled the air. It always made me think about when Domon and I would argue over who got to eat the last cookie.  
  
I smiled at the memory. He always got the last one, but I would make him guilty as soon as he popped it in his mouth. I'd turn my back, start crying and exclaim, 'You make me so angry, Domon Kasshu!' Then he'd get this broken, sorry look on his face and would try to make it up to me anyway possible. He always used to when he did something to make me cry. It had been so long. I wondered if he would do the same now.  
  
I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I accidentally bumped into a table.  
  
"Oh! I'm very sor—It's you!"  
  
"Hello, Ms. Mikamura," Nastasha coolly greeted me from her seat beside Argo, who now stood politely.  
  
"Rain," his terse acknowledgement was. After a while, I've gotten used to his gruff and concise manner.  
  
"SIS!!!!!!" I turned around to lay eyes on my favorite Chinese boy, Sai Saici. He approached me warmly, his smile as wide as ever.  
  
"Wow, it's great to see you," he pulled me aside. "Being around those two for too long will put you to sleep, Valentine's Day or not. You're just the excuse I needed to get away." As we continued to walk further away, he turned back to wave goodbye to the couple seated at the table, calmly sipping at their afternoon coffee. "Sorry, but I've got to go back now! Later!" Argo nodded, while Nastasha glared after him. She never really did care for Sai Saici, although I couldn't really blame her after he spied on her bathing in the Guyana Highlands.  
  
With his hands behind his head, he seemed rather relaxed and quiet as we walked towards the Neo-China area. Thinking that something was on his mind, I decided to question him.  
  
"Hey, Sai Saici. Is there something you wanted to talk about?"  
  
I watched him as he seemed to swallow nervously. "No. I mean, not really that is." He paused for a moment, then spoke again. "Say, sis. If it was Valentine's Day, would it be all right if you send a letter to a friend, even if that friend lived really far away? And what if you kinda like this friend in, you know. 'That way.' And you don't know if they like you 'that way' back? Would it still be okay?"  
  
Silence followed after he finished his questioning, and I smiled as we approached the gates to the Neo-China headquarters. "Sai Saici, I'm sure that Cecil would love to hear from you today, whether she's interested in you as a friend or more than that."  
  
His face lit up with that amazing boyish grin of his. "Really?!" Excited to write his letter he rushed towards the gates, paused, then rushed back to hug me in gratitude. "Thanks, sis!" The gates slammed shut and he disappeared from sight.  
  
Once again, I found myself at a loss of what to do. I tried to leave the boat and all the memories of Domon, but everywhere I went, something made me think of him. You cannot escape from memories. Memories of him were everywhere, in the faces of his friends and acquaintances, in scents, in words, in wonderful stuffed teddy bears.  
  
I finally decided to return to the boat. My attempt to forget him had failed miserably, and now the sun was setting and the cool marine air came in soft gusts of wind. I quickened my pace, eager to get back home to a warm room. And Domon.  
  
Even though it had only been a day, my thoughts had constantly been on him, only causing me to miss him more. And the fact that it was Valentine's Day made me lonely without someone to spend it with. Everyone else had plans: Chibodee and his girls, George and Marie-Louise, Argo and Nastasha, even Sai Saici. Hoi and Min were gone for the day with their grandfather, off on a special Valentine's Day trip.  
  
As I approached the docks, I stopped when a thought entered my mind. What if Domon had plans too? I hadn't really taken that into consideration. I had merely assumed that since he hadn't told me anything, that he would be there tonight. But he hardly ever told me any of his plans. He might be out all night training with Allenby for all I knew. Or even out on a date...  
  
I raced out on the docks, heading straight for the boat. As I neared it, I saw no lights on. A part of me clung to the hope that he was asleep, but it was just now time for dinner. Using the doorpost, I braced my arms against the frame as I came to a sudden stop. I rushed down the steps of the ladder, and looking around inside, I saw the room was empty.  
  
I lowered my tired body to a chair, and slumped forward, feeling desperation and lonliness creep up on me in the darkening room, lurking in the lengthening shadows. Empty. That was how I felt without Domon. It was why I could not go out with Chibodee today, or why I couldn't keep Domon out of my mind. I was incomplete without him being at my side. It was why I was jealous of Allenby helping out. I was just afraid she would take my spot in Domon's life, that he would care for her more than he did me. It was all because I cared for him. No, it was more than that. Definitely more.  
  
I felt the first of my tears streak down my face and splatter onto my pink dress. Sometimes I was such a fool, sitting here crying for myself. I wasn't usually this weak and childish. In fact, out of all those immature Gundam fighters, I liked to think that I was one of the most mature people. But today was Valentine's Day, and out of everyone I had met, I was the only one without one.  
  
Suddenly, I squinted as the bright lights in the boat were turned on. I looked up to watch as Domon's figure walked down the steps to enter the room carrying a large bag of groceries. He plopped them down on the countertop and then glanced over at me.  
  
"Oh, hey Rain. I see you got back."  
  
I stared stupidly at him, thinking I must be hallucinating. "You're...not going out tonight?"  
  
He gave me a strange look. "No, of course not. Why?"  
  
"Well, um. No reason. I just thought...you might have plans or something tonight..." My voice trailed off. As he turned away, I wiped at my eyes and sniffled, trying to conceal all evidence that I had been crying. I didn't want him to know why.  
  
He began unloading the contents of the bag to start dinner for us, and I went to his side and we worked together. Seeing that we would need more space to cook, I moved to pick up my bear and the pitcher of lemonade. Glancing at them, I stopped.  
  
Domon noticed my frozen state. "Hey, Rain. You all right?"  
  
The bear sat in a different position, now on top of a red box. I picked him up and looked down at the container. A red bow tied closed a heart- shaped box of what I could only assume was chocolates.  
  
"Is this...?"  
  
"Oh, that," Domon suddenly looked embarrassed, his face as red as the box I saw before me. "Well, some guy handed it to me on the streets. I didn't even know today was Valentine's Day. The last time I remember celebrating it was before I left, about 10 years ago. It's been such a long time, with the Gundam fights and training with Master Asia for so many years, I've sort of forgotten about holidays. I know it's not White Day...*ehrm*" He cleared his throat as he glanced away and ran a hand through his hair. It was shaking. "...But anyway, I thought that you might like them. I mean, even Chibodee got you something."  
  
I smiled in thanks as I moved the box and bear, and then picked up the empty pitcher to wash it out. It was then that I realized it. I hadn't told him that Chibodee got me a present. And the originally full pitcher of lemonade had been emptied when I came back after Chibodee left. Domon must have been there, he must have heard our conversation. And since when do random guys hand out boxes of chocolates for free in Neo-Hong Kong?  
  
I could feel my heart swell with joy inside my chest as I sat down. Domon was such a liar sometimes. I had to smile at the thought of Domon sneaking around, spying on me and eavesdropping on my conversations.  
  
"Rain? Are you all right? It looks like you've been crying."  
  
I didn't have to look where his finger was pointing to know that he had seen the tell-tale tear stains on my skirt. I looked away, ashamed of him finding my weakness. "I just, um, hurt my ankle coming down the ladder." That excuse sounded lame to even my ears.  
  
He came to sit down beside me. "You're such a liar." His tone changed suddenly to one full of concern. "You don't have to pretend with me, Rain. You don't always have to be strong."  
  
I looked at him, and his chocolate eyes met with mine. "I could say the same for you," I whispered softly.  
  
I'm not sure how long we sat there, but the length of time doesn't matter. The words didn't matter, our eyes said it all. Domon is a fighter, he expresses himself with his fists and actions, not eloquent speeches and poems. And in that moment, I understood. Those deep chocolate eyes told me what I needed to know: that he cared for me.  
  
Sure, he pushed me away and acted coldly toward me at times, but the second I'm in danger, he comes running to my rescue, shouting my name. All these years later, he still protected me and he still tried to comfort me when he made me cry, even if he didn't know that he was the cause of my tears. He couldn't stand to see me suffering.  
  
The whistle of a passing ship broke our reverie, and Domon helped me up, back onto my feet. Together, we returned to fixing dinner. It was nice to have the boat all to ourselves, just a quiet dinner for the two of us. Nothing formal, just very casual and relaxed.  
  
As it became late, we said our goodnights, and I headed off to bed. Before I laid down to sleep, I remembered I had left my bear out in the main area and went back to bring it to my room. I set it beside my bed, and it was then that I noticed a second surprise.  
  
My bear was wearing Domon's red ribbon around his head.  
  
I stared in wonderment. Had Domon put it there? He must have, who else would have done it? Just how many of those ribbons did he have, anyway? I smiled. He really did resemble Domon, with those chocolate eyes and red ribbon. Even his scruffy dark fur mimicked Domon's own unruly tresses. He still held that satin heart out as an offering to me. One day, I know Domon would do the same.  
  
Reaching out from under the covers, I picked him up and pulled him close to my chest.  
  
"Sometimes, Domon Kasshu, I love you so much."  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
A.N.: Hope you liked it! If you did, you may want to check out my story, These Foolish Games. Thanks for R+R –ing! 


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